It never ceases to surprise me how unprepared most of us are for living in our society. Over the years I have tried to record various ideas and philosophies that I wish someone had told me when I was starting out. Perhaps these may help some souls surfing the net.

It’s rarely black or white. People will constantly say we only have two choices. Rarely is that true. Try and suggest a gray alternative, it’s generally the best choice.Try not to make important decisions on the spur of the moment. Some times there is no choice and one must. But take an hour or a day and weigh the alternatives.Hear both sides of the story. So often one person sincerely presents the facts to you. There’s no doubt this person is in “the right.” But hear the other side no matter what. Its amazing how the same incidents or facts can be interpreted in two, three, or more ways. In the Japanese classic film “Rashamon” four people tell varying accounts of a murder they all witnessed. That title is now part of the English language.

Before judging or joining sides get all the information from the opposing players.Strike while it’s hot. Opportunities are always available. The ability to see them is the hardest part. But equally difficult is to jump in. Most people do not like change. We hold on to everything even our old shoes and clothing. Try not to become paralyzed because of change.On all major decisions or problems figure out what’s the worst thing that can happen. Often when you look at it that way you can handle the situation. If that’s the worst one can face it. Introspection and/or taking stock of one self is important.

Sometimes it can be fun to figure out the clues like a detective and solve the case. But again, that’s often only half the solution. Its great to isolate the problem or figure out its origins. But its only the beginning. Equally as hard is to change or overcome your behavior.And that brings me to my final point. Often one wonders why we are here or what’s it all about.

I do not have the answer. But I am positive of one thing. We must evolve. We must attempt to try and change some of our behavior or personality. It’s easy to blame our father, our mother, our society, our neighborhood, our childhood etc. Clearly they all have had an effect. But we must try at some time to take charge of our life. Sure the past influenced us, hurt us, scarred us, but how about the present and the future. We can help determine it. It is never too late. It’s about will power. It’s about wanting to improve. Jessie Colin-Young a singer-songwriter once wrote an apt ending. He said,“It’s you who’s going to do it.”